Been feeling kinda moody recently. Very moodless. Some time since I feel this way. Probably was affected with what my friends said as those words kind of still circulate in my mind. Well got to snap out of it. Whenever I am down I remember I will always do something and it never fail to bring the sunshine back into my life. Need a "dose" of that right now. This whole feeling kind of suck away every happiness. Made the whole day look so gloomy for me. Well there is always tomorrow to look forward to!

Labels: random

This whole week feel so mundane. Nothing much happen. On Friday thought can go out. Sigh..Shi Jie go gather all my buddies go for jamming session. Poor me head home. Wanted to catch dead silence that day. Well in the end after their jamming session, they asked me out to go for supper. Went to 85 market as usual. Spend probably an hour plus fellowship over supper and over game of "Bluff". Been quite some time since a whole group of us went for late night supper. Although tiring to drive and worry will the carpark attendant come but I think is this type of close knit fellowship that I enjoy the most.

Sermon on the mount resume this week. Very good message I must say. A message that speak right through the heart. Well God is so real so tangible! After service head down to airport for fellowship. Although the numbers for saturday fellowship really very few but I think today very enjoyable. Next went down to shi jie's place before heading home and catch flashpoint.

Tomorrow another long day. After service have to help out in the counselling packs. Have to transport it to Jurong West. Rush to church to support my dearest brother, Glenn who will be going for water baptism. Living testimony! Thinking back how he actually pick up his courage go ask.

After next week where Pastor will conclude the whole series, won't be appearing on Saturday except for those weeks that I have to serve. The next time would be on November and December. Sigh..beside the word there is something that I kinda look forward but have to wait till November.

This week sigh..don't know why but just felt that it wasn't quite a happy week. Well maybe think too much.

Thursday had discipleship class with Charmaine at riverwalk. Did not know and did not expect that we need to give a mock bible study. Been 1 year plus since I gave bible study. Realise that I am rusty! Commit alot of mistakes that was once pointed out by Charmaine 2 years ago. Repeat the same old mistake. Forget that was teaching Getting Started plus all the people who attended this discipleship class are friends that I know. Was in a comfort zone, forgotten to treat them as people who are new in Christ. The fact that I was the only guy in what look like an all girls class already give me some jitters and when Charmaine announce I am going to start first I was like HUH! Well this week class made me realise I must start taking initiative and offer to give bible study.

Was out on Friday with Shang, Chai Huat, Gordon, Daniel and Jian Rong. Did not really want to go out because of the super heavy rain. Was really pouring like crazy. Went home to rest before going out again. The heavy traffic did nothing but to further dampen my mood and "convincing" me that I made a really grave decision to come out. Well but things change when I meet up with the guys. Went to catch fireworks with Shang as he shared with me some things. The fireworks in my opinion was great. Actually don't really fancy but as long as someone want to catch it, I will go with them. Indeed the skyline was beautiful lit. After that, went over to an open area to play bluff before heading to Shang's place to get the car out for supper at the usual place at fengshan hawker centre or commonly known as 85 market.

While trying to park his car, he scratch his dad mercedes. Bring back memory while I was trying to get out of the carpark at marine parade this year I scratch my Toyota Harrier. That day my ears suffer badly because my dad was furious. But Shang was better than me his dad understood and never scold . Tong Ren Bu Tong Ming haha. Well had a chance to drive his BMW. Fun experience because is a different model. This experience made me realise I hate driving BMW LOL. I think is not a very good car to drive. Well who am I to complain as long as there is a car for me to use I will gladly accept any car that comes my way.

Lead prayer meeting before cg on Sat. Been some time since I lead prayer meeting. I think overall was quite ok. Can't say very happy but well at least is a start..going back to doing things that draw me nearer to God. To enter into His holy of holies. Cg was held at Shang's new place 4 story! Bigger than my house. Well never mind..next year shall have my own apartment if my dad do really get it for me and my twin brother as birthday present. Since he got one for my eldest brother for his birthday.

After cg rush down to Expo to serve. Did sermon yesterday. Was stress because it was the first time I ever do impromptu sermon. Seen how Sihui and my IC did the last time. Before that I was like thinking God sure anot I can do it anot. But thank God my IC was there to help me out yesterday. Except for not being vocal enough and not knowing when to cut DSK, I think I quite enjoy the experience. After service had dinner with my IC, Kelvyn and Grace to talk about some things regarding the team. Must say thank God for the favor of man. Is like I have been in Chorus Board since last Dec but really Kelvyn have given me alot of opportunity to learn to serve in different areas. This 8 months in this ministry enjoyed it to the fullest!

Sunday service, got to serve as director again. Actually there were some fears because of the title bars for saturday service and the impromptu service. But as usual just got to calm myself down and pray and ask God to cast away every spirit of fear. Today service was run quite smoothly except for the title bar for Calvin who was leading praise today. Everything was alright when suddenly the desktop appear. That was the biggest hoo ha. But God was good..restore peace and calmness in the team. Praise God!

Today was the first time where I have to do director and sermon. Pass the directorial position to Grace and went to do sermon. Actually also no idea why I was ask to do sermon as well. But today learn one more thing to expand capacity, under different situation where need to multi-task. Thank God did not make much mistake. Was telling Kelvyn yesterday over dinner, I have learnt to do alot in Chorus Board. The thing I want to see myself now is to be consistent in whatever position I am ask to do. Minimize the mistake and let each time I serve go from glory to glory.

This whole week, I think is a great week. Hmm..well I don't know, just felt that is now kinda of easy to talk to Pamela. Message her every Wednesday to chat. But usually is always done through messages. Don't really say hi or bye to her when I see her. But just told myself that I want to be more bold and just chat with her. This week was great, instead of smiling as a sign of hi, decide to be more vocal. Hopefully it stays this way and not for me to go back into "hiding".

Labels: my week

Oh yes was reminded about something. Was chatting with Pamela this afternoon and she mention about patience. Suddenly remember something that I wrote down which I want to see a change in myself during last week cg sermon.

I wrote down that I want to be a person of patience. Someone who can keep everything at normal cool level and not at an anger level.

Was going through some of Pastor Phil Pringle materials. As usual if I have to lead prayer meeting I will always look through Pastor Phil materials to see is there anything I can learn. Was going through both volume of The Leadership Files. Both book always gave me revelation and help me to prepare for prayer meeting. While going through saw chapter touching on Patience.

Kind of ironic..yesterday was emailing Charmaine updating her about myself. Wanted to email her what I wrote down and while I was happily typing away it slip off my mind. I am absent minded and I have short - term memory. Probably something plan by the Lord to be reminded by Pamela of the goals that I set to see a change by the end of the year.

Well as usual, without fail Pastor Phil's material really do help. Another night of new insights.

Came across this 2 chpt.

Labels: Patience

Today receive a message from my twin brother. Told me that I receive a letter from the government. 2 things rushed into my mind..was thinking did I not do properly for my NS medical registration or is a court letter asking me to attend a hearing for the offence I committed. When my bro let me know is just a letter to remind me to put on the P Plate the next time or risk having my licence revoke if I commit the same offence a 2nd time. Well..lets see another 27 days before I am no longer under probation. Well have been a good citizen like what I told Pamela. Trying my very best not to drive without the P Plate.

As usual, Wednesday would message Pam to chat. Towards the evening haha was kind of "teasing", "saying" her than thought she would whack me but she said this won't whack me but i'll get ignore instead. Thank God she is a nice person if not thats it for me.

From tomorrow onward everyday will seem to be a long day. Will be having discipleship class at riverwalk. Friday most likely need to prepare for prayer meeting for sat cg, weekend will need to serve. Well looks like my life is quite "exciting" for the next few days.

Found out that from 28 - 30 August at Harbourfront Centre there will be a comic fare. Maybe can get some new comic. Been reading lots of new comic book, maybe will go down and check it out. One of it is "La Corda d Oro" which is about - Hino goes to a school that specialises in music and has two streams: the normal stream and the music stream, where the music students are regarded as the more elite. She was running late for her class one day when she saw a tiny fairy, who seemed really excited that she could see it. The next day, the entrants in the music competition, who are decided by the school, are announced. Hino's name appears on the list - except she doesn't play an instrument. The fairy gives her a magical violin that can be played by anyone. Reluctantly, she enters into the competition and is forced to deal with the prejudices of her peers.

Labels: daily stuff

Thought through somethings. Trying to be tactful down here cause I don't wish to be the one that help him announce this matter. Meeting him on Saturday after service and really chatting with him brought memories back. Yes I know this thing will bound to happen and after service last saturday he came over to inform me that it might happen today. We know each other for 7 years..been in church for over 5 years together. We shared almost the same dream just that I am not musically incline like him. Other than that don't really see much difference in the both of us. I still remember it all started when we were the pioneers of E345 and back then Grace the PCGL spoke to us about wanting us to do more and rise us up because we were helping out our cgl Shaun in E305. When she left, both of us just wanted to do our part for the cg. Do and do, we develop passion for the cg and for the people who were with us. Just last year, Charmaine sat him and myself down informing us that she want us to rise up and be cgl by the end of the year. Everything seems like it was yesterday with all the spare time thinking about it. Together we went through alot, youngster that are passion for the Lord giving everything to the cg that we are serving. Well with open arms I welcome back the person that I enjoy working with the most. Is back to the old days again.

God would rather have a imperfect you than not to have you at all. Was reminded about this while I was thinking through some things. How true it is. If we can also put it to use in our friendship wouldn't that be great? Of course I have friendship that are still left hanging in the air. Thought of maybe trying to go about saying a simple "hi". Well what I want to say is this..so many times we let loose our mouth instead of thinking it through. I don't know how people think but to me when we are in one cg we are called to be a family regardless of background or anything.

Was talking to Shi Jie yesterday and I asked him this, if I were to do something wrong will you forgive me. He said yes. If he can treat me as friend and forgive me, wouldn't it be the same for others as well. Probably thats why this year we are reminded constantly that the cross is made up of 2 beams which signify loving God whole heartedly and loving people Fervently. No matter how imperfect we are, God still wants us..because we are not created accidentally. Similarly friends do not just come into our life by accident or the people in your individual cg are not there by accident. Beside God and His word, I believe they stay because of the people in the cg where they feel comfortable with and where they know they will feel love and able to build relationship with one another.

However in recent times, realise that people kick up a huge fuss when member (friends) do something wrong. With time start to distant themself from the those who did something wrong. Had this wrong mindset as well till now. It made me realise one thing that was always on my mind. When Jesus come back a second time, will our hands be clean or will our hands be stain with the blood of our friends? We are suppose to love our neighbor as ourself to pray for our enemies, NOT TO CHASE THEM AWAY or MAKE THEM FEEL UNLOVE. Imagine if we were in their shoes would we want our friends our cgm to forgive us or for them to alienate themself from us.

We are so quick to point our finger and let our tongue wag. Made me remember one thing Charmaine spoke to me about, "do you think by talking harshly and loudly will get the message across?" I remember I told her this, "No Charmaine." From than on I mellow down and no longer find a need to resume my old self and start scolding people for their mistake in a harsh manner. . but to show love even though correcting them in their mistakes.

Was out with Shang before cg started and yesterday was on the phone with him as well. Sang this new worship song where there is this verse God of my youth I remember. So true 5 years ago till now, God is the same yesterday, today and forever. It somehow brought out those memories and kickstart something in me. Digging out and doing stuffs that bring joy, bring me closer to God etc. Decided with him that we will have a prayer meeting before cg start. Had this "rule" back when me and Yongheng were together serving the cg..that we come everyweek before cg to pray to seek God. Decided to re-read the bible again. Falling in love with God all over again. Head over heel for Him. To pass on this contagious love to the whole cg. Was reminded of this verse "If you are willing and obedient, You shall eat the good of the land.."

Just receive news, so looking forward to serve this week in Chorus Board. Every time I serve there is something to learn.

Labels: thoughts

Yesterday was national day eve..was kind of desperate to find people to go out with because I had been a good boy returning home early and have dinner the previous 2 days. Was drop a bombshell that everybody already have programmes and that was the reason why my hp died during the evening because I was making alot of calls haha. In the end manage to find Wei Ming and spend my day with him over dinner and catch up with him. Also don't know why in the end, end up together with everybody..some of them suddenly have their plans cancel and some of them were at Marina Square so ended the day together playing "live firing" at parklane.

Late at night, went over Chai Huat's place to play, supper and talk. Was a very tiring process. Pamela called it adventurous haha. Cause had to go pick Daniel up, stay at Chai Huat's place, head back home to sleep before going for soccer. Daniel and myself was so tired we slept all the way till 11.20am. Decided to quickly change and drove down to play soccer for an hour before sending some of the guys back home.

This year National Day quite different from previous years. Usually will have family movie, but I spend half the day sleeping and pondering about something. Maybe because both my brothers had things on. Big bro had to go help out in NDP, twin bro had to work. When I woke up realise my dad not home to went to play badminton. Left me and my mom. Stuck at home kinda of boring never mind got to finish some of the things I wanted to do for some time.

As usual, had to go pick my brother up after NDP. Pamela was right! He say he was very happy I came pick him up say want to eat anything he buy for me but was quite full decide to spun his offer. First time he do all this. Maybe times are different haha.

08 August was a very I don't know how to describe day. Decided to message Pamela and asked her something. Never do this before, so I went to ask all my close friends can I do it. They asked me to try. Well it was neutral feeling. Probably when the day come I shall asked again. Oh yes..was on the bus when it happen! It was new hearing her speaking in mandarin. Kind of funny..but well yeah thats all. Shall wait till the end of the year.

Labels: eve of national day

Sigh...tomorrow ok I consider it as holiday. Everybody around me seems to have programmes for tomorrow. Me, I have no programme for tomorrow trying to fill up my time. Someone save me! The thought of going home really spook me haha. Sigh...SO SIAN!!!!!

Labels: random

Friday did not attend FOP..rare day had dinner with my mom and brother. Due to our individual packed schedule hardly had dinner together. Decide to make a point to go for the dinner instead. Realised that need to lead a balance life if not most of my time is revolve around my church friends and church. Dinner was at a japanese restaurant at city link. The food is not say very nice still prefer the jap food at sushi tei..which according to my mom rather pay more and enjoy a nicer jap meal.

After dinner was shopping time. There were something I wanted to get for myself. So went to zara to get a new pair of jeans and pedro to get a pair of loafer. Now it seems my list is getting shorter and shorter and yes I still can't curb the habit of spending but for the moment it will stop will share about it later sigh..

Needed to get a birthday gift for my best friend on Saturday morning. Struck a deal with Shi Jie I come picked him up after the session and he accompany me the next morning. Than Daniel message me ask me supper tonight and the whole thing turn into supper night. Was suppose to only drive 2 of them and before we drove off the guys was trying to fit everybody in the back seats with Carrie occupying the front passenger seat. I think Pamela who was at the bus stop was laughing at the scene seeing 5 guys squeezing themselves behind the back seats.

The journey was ok..listening to the guys crap while I sent Carrie home first before we head over to 85 market for supper. After supper incur myself a $30 fine for not putting any coupon..which I was like huh 12.56am get caught the warden very hardworking! This fines ultimately sour my weekend.

Saturday morning decide to con Chai Huat to go with me instead and have him choose his own cg present. Told him was suppose to get for Glenn and he reall believe me all the way until after Saturday session ended and we celebrate his birthday with Calista. Got him a bathing ape t-shirt. Think he should like it since he choose it himself haha. Rushed down for cg after we got the present. This week cg was great although there is only 9 or 10 of us only but it was a great cg meeting! Went down to SIS with Charmaine and the rest of the members and end the long Saturday having dinner at Old Airport hawker centre. Slept at 3 plus, chatted with my members online. But thank God no morning service.

Sunday another long day and also a very bad day. Everything was fine until after midnight sigh.. For the first time yesterday I enjoyed queueing up at SIS. Not only were very infront but there were something else too. Shi Jie, Glenn and Daniel should know about it. Really made my day. We even manage to get good seats on the last day of FOP. This year FOP simply was great! Delirious, Don Moen and of course the man of God Pastor Phil Pringle.

After the session had to clear up all the counsellor packs. As usual have to bring it back to Expo. This time not so bad clear it quite fast! But at the same time usher were clearing their stuffs as well so took a longer time to have every boxes brought out to the mini bus that was going to transport us to expo. By 11.45pm we were zooming out of SIS to expo. Everything was done very fast. 12.30 we were on our way to my house to go get the car and head for supper, Pongol Nasi Lemak (haha I don't know how to spell). Along the way at Katong got stop for police check. Sigh..thats when my whole night crash. Another month before my probation end lets see, so far involve in a accident cause someone kiss my bumper, the car rub against the wall while I was negotiating my way down the car park and of course 2 fines before Sunday.

Yesterday when I was pulled over sigh..quite pai seh. Was ask to come out of the car so that they can question me. Thank God I don't drink if not I will be writing letters instead of typing all these haha. All the cars stopping must be wondering what happen to me sia. Ok forgot to put the probation plate cause the car I was driving don't have the p plate. For the first time ever I receive the biggest and longest ticket. Got fine $120. Super bad weekend. All my supper turn out to be very expensive. Last week alone total $150 fine. Was quite sigh..frustrated sad argh!! At first thought must attend court hearing as well that would be like so crazy haha scare me to death. Told Pamela about it and some of my friends. She reminded me something was it because too many people thats why. Oh yes I think from now onwards must kick a few of them out already haha if not get pulled over again haha.

Well those fines really sum up my whole week. Sigh..don't think I am going to touch the car already except for my favourite toyota harrier. For the last month I shall proudly display my P plate because I have no habit of putting it up and also for the last 11 months I have never been ask to show my licence and I risked having my licence getting revoke if I commit it again. Cannot let my resume of fines grow like crazy too haha. Also cannot keep on blessing the government. I am a poor kid need people to fund my organisation in order to be alive.
Shall post the picture of the fine another day. Was still feeling of the effect of the fine this morning and afternoon until some of my friends try to cheer me up. Thanks alot guys.

In another 30 minutes will be one of my best friend birthday. Happy Birthday Ryan Tay. Finally turn 20! (quick get ur driving licence also..than drive me around instead of me driving u around.)

Labels: driving fines, weekend

Was out with Daniel, Wei Ming and Valerie. Went to have dinner and catch Simpsons at Marina Square. While waiting for Wei Ming to come, accompany Daniel to get birthday cards before proceeding to Gap and Polo Ralph Lauren to shop and see. Nothing in particular caught my eyes probably if I really am desperate maybe a bermudas at Gap.

Wei Ming introduce us to this stall that is beside BBQ Delight at Marina Square food court. Had nasi ayam something. The chilli is mind blowing! As many of them know I can't take chilli or spicy food. But the meal was fantastic..I love nasi lemak chilli alot..so whenever I am having it for dinner I will spread the chilli over my rice. Wei Ming warn me the chilli is very powerful, had him helping buy my drink. In less than 2 mins, I was sweating, my lip was red, face was red and of course I started to tear. The 3 of them were having a fun time laughing at me and enjoying this rare scene haha. But the food shiok, ma ma miya, bagus!

Proceeded to catch Simpsons on the big screen. The show is totally wacky and is a very nice show! Laugh from the start to the end of the show. The sad thing is the show is only 88 mins. Was just flowing with the crowd since everybody so into Simpsons went to catch it too. After this I don't mind start watching simpsons tv episode..watching Bart Simpson being weird and Homer beyond hope.

I think I seriously need someone to lock up all my money. I just can't resist spending my money! My shopping list seems to grow with each passing week and I have not set aside for my end of year trip. Standard of living getting higher and higher and everything is going up except for our salary haha as quoted by Jackson. Or maybe is because we are getting older and brands seem to be important now as compare to yester years. Well in any case I need to watch my spendings with the year coming to an end soon and with the impending building fund. Must think like my ex cgm who backslided whether anot the things we want to get is neccessary or is just another of our urge to spend our money.

Labels: dinner, movie, shopping

Having a massive headache ever since I reached home. Don't know whats wrong. Since last Saturday I seem to be experience pain here and there. Injured my knee on Saturday and having some pain on the chest now headache. Probably need to sleep early today. Looks like I am getting old no more late nights!

Finally tomorrow will be going to marina square to catch the Simpsons on the big screen. I must admit I have never completed a single episode of Simpsons before. All I know is the show is about Homer and his family. But the trailer look good and very funny. Decide to go and catch it with my good friends and have a good laugh and at the same time relax and enjoy before the busy weekends starts to catch up.

Argh...shall continue tomorrow..the pain is splitting my head into 2 haha thats exaggerating.

Labels: random

Tat Kwek
21 years old

Links

daniel

chaihuat

shijie

glenn

yongheng

alvin

sherylyn

carol

seowchean

junyu

wenkai

william

& the past

September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
May 2006
July 2006
September 2006
October 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
October 2009
November 2009
January 2010
March 2010

& CREDITS

layout: + +
fonts: +
brushes: + +
image: +