Monday, October 24, 2005
♥ 5:33 PM
Spinning: "Everyday I Love You" - Boyzone
Friday, did not have one of the best day. While on my way down to church for overnight prayer meeting, made another mistake in my attendance. For how many times, I frankly do not know. Clearly my leader wasn't happy got on the wrong end but nonetheless I learn something again even though I made this same mistake over and over again. Can't deny I was feeling lousy that day. Was really asking myself softly God am I really one whom you called, why is this happening again and again. I need a change a major change. Was thinking through should I ask for a break. It seem that I have lost the purpose of what I am doing. God as I slowly find back the first love I have for You, You too help me to find back the first love that got me to where I am today. Had this revelation during cg, there is a saying the longer you are in Christ the harder for you to be disciple, was thinking back the past few sermon, I don't know how true it is but it seem that the older we are in Christ the more we take prayer lightly and not see the significant of it. As such, it got me to go back to the past where we were all young in the Lord where all of us take prayer so seriously, coming into that secret place we call the prayer closet even though we do not know what to pray. Hulk Hogan once said this in the prime of his wrestling career something like "train hard, say our prayers and take our vitamins." The last thing I should do is say my prayers. What else can I do except to come unto the Lord and pray. For His words says "ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." I must say pressure is starting to mount on me, the burden I carry is far to great for me. At the last session of the prayer meeting, Pastor Tan prayed for the congregation something about pressure. Felt recharge in the spirit, felt a assuring word as God says "For my yoke is easy and My burden is light". Thank God, on the meeting manage to get rid of my empty feeling, God is good all the time, for He done exceedingly and abundantly one could ever ask of Him, not just 1 sec but more than 1 sec.
Today, I made a decision to continue to persevere on. I don't want to take a break but trust God in all that I do. Slowly along my journey with Him find back the purpose the passion. I don't want to bow down right now. Got to be made into a pillar by God. Many times my decision had been found in a violence sea but again God spoke something through the message Pastor Kong share and calm the raging sea. How true it is the days of a believer is liken to the days of a warrior. I may not be perfect, but definately I am not a quitter got to hang on and finish the race. Let it be that I mount up with wings like eagles, run and not be weary, walk and not faint.
Yeah van, feeling cloud 9. Let it be that every week it shall be in this way.
